Cornell

I am on an airplane right now, you have a lot of time to think when you are sitting in a metal tube for 5 hours.  I am not (and have never been) a rock star, I really have no idea what it is like (but I have always imagined awesome!)  When you get to a certain level of stardom you spend a lot of time on planes, there are usually plenty of people with you, but I would imagine you get lost in thought often against the white-noise hum of the jet engines.

 

I was at a music convention when I found out about Chris Cornell’s passing… At first I didn’t believe it, I researched it on my own and was blown away to find out it was true.  This particular convention is attended mostly by tons of label people (I’m in that camp) and radio people from the Non-Commercial and AAA formats (I would dare say some of the most passionate music lovers I have ever encountered.

 

I didn’t say anything, but I remember sitting at my desk at work last week and realizing it was May 11th , not a date that should mean anything to you, but for me it was the 9 year anniversary of my suicide attempt. (not something you celebrate, but the date is burned into my mind.)  I have shared all the details with you before so I won’t be redundant.

On both sides of the industry (Label and Radio) people at the convention starting sharing stories of Chris.  One woman worked his Soundgarden albums and had amazing wonderful memories.  There were people who had worked on other projects with Chris or were at events together and they echoed the stories of a kind, cool guy who endeared himself to all he met.  The radio people had stories of Chris and associated projects playing shows for their stations or giving engaging interviews, not a bad word was spoken… And not that I expected there to be.

 

9 years is a long time! 9 years ago Bing was 1 and Lucy 4.   9 years ago I was working in radio in San Diego.   9 years ago I was still married.

 

One story told to me from a label friend twisted into the depression drugs he may have been taking.  (Now let me say right now, I will not be the Jenny McCarthy of depression meds…. Always take what your doctors think is best and make sure they continually monitor you during the process)  I was on a few depression and anti-anxiety drugs when I attempted to kill myself, I had only been on them for a month and I have heard that it can take longer than that for the positive effects to kick-in.  But more interesting than the drug talk was how she started to speak very quietly and make sure no one could over hear the story of a friend that went through a similar situation.  I respect her trying to protect that persons identity, but it was also an indicator of the larger problem.  People still whisper about suicide, they mask their voices and  keep it a secret.

 

What we need is people to yell about mental health, to not be embarrassed to seek help or let friends know they are struggling.

 

So I’m not going to yell on this plane (because we already established I am not a rock star) and being shackled to your seat for the remaining 3 hours does not seem fun.  But consider this post a shout out not to be embarrassed and not to whisper about mental health.

 

 

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  • María B

    Jack, I’m glad you are alive and well today. You are a beautiful human being with a heart of gold. You are good to your kids, to your mom, your sister, Stretch, and us pod people. I’m so glad you didn’t succeed on that dark, dreary day on May 9th. I cried my eyes out for you many times in those months when Stretch talked about it and later when you came back to the podcast and would talk about it. I so wanted to hug you and tell you everything was going to be all right. Things aren’t always going to be perfect, that’s life. Always turn to your friends and family for support and know that a lot of us are sending you hugs through the airwaves. Jack you are perfect and wonderful just as you are!!!

  • Amy Scott

    The fact that you have your anniversary burned into your mind….oh how I wish more people understood this. My ex and why I am holding onto it, celebrating a day that I was raped on. June 3rd marks 11 years from that incident. And no I’m not celebrating it. But just like you have anniversary dates for people who passed away, part of me died that day and that was the start of a battle with PTSD and it was not the only assault. But it was the beginning. And no one understands that anniversary dates can be triggers and stir up memories. And no one understands that your body remembers, even if your mind doesn’t think about it. Getting closer to the date makes your body remember.

    Getting back on topic…I am deeply saddened by Chris Cornell passing away and the way it happened. And I am very glad you are still here.