It’s not writers block…
Monday, October 18th, 2010When you just don’t have anything to say… Or at least I don’t think it is!?!? Sorry I haven’t been posting regularly, I just haven’t had much going on to talk about. My days have been fairly boring as of late. Other than on the weekends when the kids are here, I really don’t do much. I have written about it before, But things have seemed kind of hopeless, I am lucky to be surviving and paying all the bills ( I know so many are not!). It just seems like there is little hope of advancement, of bettering the situation. Never before have I experienced the feeling professionally that there is no where to advance too.
I see the manifestation of recession rage into the tea party, intolerance and fringe elements gaining mainstream acceptance and it makes me even more disillusioned with the direction this country is headed. I know it is human nature to need someone to blame, but it seems that the American people have focused their energy on the wrong targets. We’re mad at Muslims, Mexicans, health care, homosexual marriage… I have seen no rallies, heard no outrage against the banks and mortgage lenders who’s profit over ethics lending practices lead to the housing bubble and it’s ultimate explosion. Even now Bank of America had to stall foreclosures… They screwed us buying our homes and how they’re screwing us taking them. I know many have spoke out against the TARP program, the problem is not only was the TARP program necessary to keep the economy from failing further, but it has on some fronts actually turned a profit and will ultimately only cost a fraction of originally projected… Again I see this as misguided, we are upset at the government for the bailout and not those who needed bailing out. I guess what I’m saying is that I want to see that hatred for Muslims trying to build a mosque in Temecula (over 2000 miles from Ground Zero), the anger over illegal immigration (even if our Republican candidate for Governor knowingly employed one for years, not to mention Lou Dobbs… Don’t take this as an endorsement of Jerry Brown he is a huge “whore” too), the disdain for health care reform with cries of socialism (Although no one is complaining about public schools or social security), directed towards those who actually got us where we are today. OK, that’s enough politics, I know it’s boring.
To totally shift directions. I have been thinking about something kind of strange in the past few weeks. Have you ever had a hallucination? I have had only had one in my life, it was in the hospital after my suicide attempt, as I laid in the emergency room, nurses and doctors working on me, I saw a baby lying next to me. I plead with them to help the baby, as they assured me there was no baby. I remember very few details of that night, but I remember that baby… I remember it as if it was real, I remember my concern and worry over it, how badly I wanted it to be cared for and comforted. I know it was not real, it was not there… But i remember it as real, it’s just strange. That baby could have been me, maybe I was seeing myself as helpless, in need of saving? It could have been my kids, who I felt were helpless victims of my failed relationship in need of saving? It could have just been the innocent projection caused by three bottles of prescription drugs? I may never figure it out, but I will always remember that baby as real.
Time for another transition, I guess I’ve been backing up a bunch of posts and now it is time to unload. Halloween and my kids birthday’s are right around the corner… And I’ve been slacking on both, which is weird because they are my three favorite events of the year. Halloween is all set for the kids, but I gave up on my “Baby” costume. The birthday’s have been stressful in trying to decide what kind of party would fit into my budget. The kids originally wanted to have the party at the miniature golf course, but that would mean limited guest list and we’d have to pick and choose who to invite. My sister is out of town, but we may use her house to have a bigger, less elaborate party so more friends can attend… All I know is I need to figure it out in the next few days because it’s less than 3 weeks away!
Work has been going really well, the show has found it’s groove and Ron has been rocking it. It was hard launching a show from scratch, but has been rewarding to see it mature into an entertaining, informative radio program.
I’m feeling equally as good about the pod, it has been a lot of fun lately. It has got to a point where it is less of a show and more of us having a daily conversation with an exclusive group of friends. Also, as different as we are, Stench is one of my dearest friends and I cherish my daily interaction with him.
Speaking of Stench, at his 40th birthday party a couple of years ago a psychic told me I would be re-married by 40… Well, I’m 40 in 3 months and there are no perspectives nor desire, so my disbelief in psychics lives on. Maybe I need Gary Spivey to make my crotch tingle and my demons disappear!?!?
Fumble! Finally, a good reason to go to Starbuck’s! Don’t forget to fill out your permission slip. This is crazy. Number 4 on 11/11/11? I guess you have to be aware to shoot them!?!? Here’s a back-up!
Rock on, jack
Here’s a classic video… Look how little Bing was!!!!
