In the last few days Bing and I have had a chance to spend some time alone together. He is a man after my own heart, he likes to stay local, to have a spot to go to, to be a “regular”. When we lived in North Hollywood he would get excited as we drove by Panera and tell me “That’s where we hang out.” It’s taken us a few months, but he has grown to enjoy Porto’s, albeit not as cozy a place to hang out, but we can sit at a small table along Magnolia, play I spy or name passing cars and have a potato ball or chocolate croissant (Bing’s favorite). The extremely popular Cuban bakery is about a 5 block walk/ bike ride from our apartment, and the journey there has become just as important as the chocolate covered pastries. We have a few different routes with different things to look at along the way… we gaze in store windows, admire cars in the midst of repair, look for local cats that we know, it’s always an adventure.
Early this weekend we were making the trek back home, Bing on his “big boy bike” and me on foot, when Bing quickly stopped. This is not unusual, Bing is a skid mark artist… Taking great pride in the black streaks he leaves on the pale gray concrete. But this stop was not inspired by the desire to leave a black rubber stripe on a Burbank walk way. He saw something that caught his eye. There on the sidewalk, perfectly preserved was the impression of a leaf in the concrete. A leaf that had fallen from a nearby tree an unknown number of years ago and landed in fresh, wet concrete, leaving an exact impression of itself. He was amazed by this, he got off his bike, touched it, examined it and even found near by leaves to compare to this image.
We continued home along our path, stopping to pet a local cat that we always see, making it home to move on to our next activity. Hours later, out of the blue Bing looked at me and said “Dad remember that leaf?” He was still thinking about it, after playing Wii and watching How To Train Your Dragon he was still thinking about that leaf . Now it has become a must see on our journey home, no matter what route we take to Porto’s we have to pass the leaf on the way home.
The kids were here a couple extra days this week because their Mom was traveling. It was so cool to have them here midweek, I got to take Lucy to school a couple times (Getting the chance to see her accept the “Good Deed” award at morning assembly .) This extended stay ended today, I dropped Lucy off at school and then Bing and I spent the day together, the plan being their Mom would pick Lucy up from school and come and get Bing… And this is how things went, except when they came to pick Bing up he and I were relaxing on the couch recovering from a Porto’s visit, so he wasn’t ready to be exchanged when the door bell rang. I needed to put his shoes on and gather his things. I opened the door and told my Ex that I would have him ready in a minute, Lucy burst in to get somethings she wanted to bring back. I invited my Ex into the entry way.
Lucy was excited about her Halloween costume and wanted to put it on and model it for her Mom, I sad no but that she was more than welcome to take it with her and wear it all night for her. Then she asked if she could show her Mom her room… I said no, not because I have anything to hide, but because this is my house and I didn’t want my Ex going on a tour. I have been put through much pain over the past three years, forced into horrible situations, struggled and slowly tried to rebuild life. My Ex made it abundantly apparent she wanted out of my life and I have left no room for her in my new life. Lucy kept pressing the issue, and my Ex did little to distract her… A simple we have to get back on the road before traffic gets bad would have worked. So I finally said yes, and away they went through my little apartment back to the kids room. It was fairly uneventful, Lucy showed her the room, her toys, the surviving fish. They came back out, we said our goodbyes and they were on their way.
I went for a walk after they left, I was really upset. I felt violated, I didn’t want her in my house… I knew that Lucy didn’t understand and it was harmless on her part, but I still was upset. I realized this is the rest of my life. Forced to spend time with someone I don’t want to, my life will constantly be invaded against my will. Never really being able to achieve a “new life.”
I walked across Burbank thinking about this, feeling down about the reality of the situation. Without really thinking about it I found myself on our Porto’s path home. I walked up on the concrete leaf shroud and I thought about Bing and how about much like my “violation” earlier that afternoon was stuck in my head, this leaf had been stuck in his. And I decided that Bing had it right, I’d rather think about how cool it is that a leaf had fallen into wet cement many years ago and we can still see it today. I can’t wait until we get to walk by it together again.
